I wanted to but couldn’tPosted: January 12, 2011
I don’t make plans, ever.
For me, plans are like rules that need to be broken. I can’t follow them in any way. With plans come high hopes and expectations, and this is mostly where it all go wrong. Hopes and expectations might make you do things that’s way above the standards of your plans. Sometimes it turns out great, most of the times you try too hard and your hopes come crashing down leaving you with nothing but ruined plans and sadness. Mostly sadness and disappointments.
And this is why I might be the most unorganized person out of my friends. While my organizer was empty and tossed into a corner of god-knows-where, my friends always had theirs with them, filled with plans (lots of them). I tried to fill my up I did! But found myself leading my life steps by steps, baby steps even, rather than busying myself trying to plan the outcome of tomorrow.
My mom would always tell me that I have a bad habit of waiting for the tide to reach my feet before I jump. Basically that’s one of my worst personality traits, but it also describes me, so well, as who I am. This is my nature, I take time thinking through things until the last-minute before I make my decisions. I don’t want to plan doing things and then end up regretting doing it after the fact. I do however think of the outcome, I map it before me. Only to find out that whatever I do will lead to different outcomes and sometimes I won’t know what the outcome will be. But that’s the beauty of life, you won’t know unless you try.
My point is: plans change over the course of time, the outcome you want to end up with might not be the same outcome you want later in time.
See? I wanted to write about this and then I ended up babbling about random stuffs that I’m not sure even make sense in this kind of context at all. I’m just saying; my point exactly!